things on my mind
I had a dream where I was looking for a diary. When I found it, I made a resolution to write whatever I thought in it, and to not care how my handwriting looked. Because they will still be in my pen.
I can’t help but think I have found a way to turn back time.
Through these years, I’ve loved, learnt, done better, done worse. But these lessons that are supposed to arm me with the knowledge I need to keep going on in life, seem hard to grasp. It appears to me that to keep my slate clean, I am not allowing anything to register at all. I used to let everything get to me. I wanted to question things, and whenever something popped up in my head, I would want to write about it, blog about it, tell people about it. Now I doubt everything, especially how much my opinion mattered. I know how insecure that sounds.. It’s true, really. When I read about other people’s thoughts, sometimes I wonder if they realized how little what I was reading mattered to me. It’s hard to find the needles now that the ocean has expanded. More people are being expressive, but it doesn’t mean good reads go up in proportion.
But this voice is mine. If even I don’t register it, it will eventually be lost.
