A bird doesn’t necessarily have to fly over your head in order for it to shit on you.
I realized this as I laid in my bed, staring at the irritating birds flying and screeching outside my window. They woke me up, flying at high speeds and screeching. As if they were chasing each other.
If a bird flew at a high speed in your direction and let go of its bowels, it can probably change directions a few times, before the shit hits you.
Hmm…
I was having dinner in a familyish fashion at a food court one Sunday.
The couple sitting next to me started to converse, and I listened as Ryan was busy attending to his Nasi Lemak. The guy was trying to teach the girl how to engage in conversations with strangers.
“For girls, you just say ‘Hi, how are you? The Great Singapore Sale is coming up, done any shopping yet?’ And they will yakkity yak about shopping with you.
“For men, you can talk about the weather! Ask them about their day.
“Safest bet, if they don’t like shopping or weather, ask which movie they’ve seen recently. Aiyah, very easy one.”
I couldn’t help but cringe, at all the lines he came up with. My conclusion from the rest of their conversation I shamelessly eavesdropped on, is that they are credit card salespeople, and she is new. With each cringe, I realized that all these lines have been used on me before, by people from everywhere in my life! Have they all had the same prep talk by fellas like this guy?
